God is so good, and faithful ...

So, while I was downstairs warming up (it's cold in the office today), I picked up my Bible and turned to today's devotional reading. While not all of it applies (because it's talking happy marriages and well, right now I don't have a husband), these are the parts that I felt like were written just for me, right now, in the middle of a neurotic, overanalyzing fit:

"Like Martha, our hearts are distracted and weighed down by many worthwhile things -- concerns about family and friends, daily work responsibilities, church-related duties, financial needs-- as well as by our own ongoing thoughts, judgments and self-talk. Looking to our Lord's peace and inviting His love to reign in our hearts relieves hurt, eases weariness, and sets our feet back on solid ground. "

And then, further down the page, the writer wraps it up with this:

"Yielding our heart and mind to the Holy Spirit's direction transforms our whole outlook. The more we pay attention to our Shepherd's gentle reproof and trustworthy guidance, the less we find ourselves worrying about the things that DON'T matter. Taking the time to slow down long enough to talk to God and delight in the joy of His sweet presence -- wherever we are, regardless of what we are doing, whether it's doing the dishes or driving to the store or shuttling the school car pool or preparing for an important meeting -- can quiet our hearts and minds like nothing else. This is where we find the hidden strength that can never be taken away from us."

I bolded the things that stuck out to me the most. The things that I feel like are weighing heavy on my heart and my mind lately. Or, in the case of trustworthy, things that I need to remember.

Anyway, I thought this was super cool and definitely a blessing from God, so I wanted to share it.

Wait. Expectantly.

"There probably isn't anything harder to do than wait, whether we are expecting something good, something bad, or something unknown."

God says:
Be still and know that I am God.
Be still and wait patiently on the Lord. *

"What parts of your life seem to be on hold right now? Do you understand that this may be part of God's plan for you?"

God responds to faith even in the midst of failure.

"Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for I pray to no one but you ...Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly." Psalm 5:2-3, NLT

Wait. Expectantly.

What does David mean when he writes to "wait expectantly"? What attitude is he taking? How does that fit into my life? How does it apply to me?

I'm not really sure how/what this means in relation to my life. But, as you can see from my notes above, it's been on my mind. Although, I'm starting to think that waiting expectantly means to wait, knowing that God is faithful and true. Wait, knowing that God works to the good of those who love Him.

What does "wait expectantly" mean for you?





* Bible paraphrasing is mine.

Feeling blue

I'm down in the dumps, and honestly, I couldn't begin to tell you why. Sure, there are lots of things that aren't going how I would like for them to be going, but there's not one thing I can pinpoint. Not one thing that is a "reason" for such a heaviness. Such a sense of sorrow.

I feel like I'm in a downward spiral. I'm running around with no purpose in my life. No direction. Just flying by the seat of my pants. I do not enjoy this sort of life. I want goals. I want plans. I want a future - not the unknown.

Thinking in Lyrics

Bless the Lord, O My Soul, and all that is within me,
Bless His Holy name.

This hymn is stuck in my head this morning. Not sure why. We didn't sing it on Sunday. In fact, I cannot remember the last time I have sung it in church.

Maybe it's just God's way of reminding me to bless Him and praise Him-regardless of circumstance. Praise Him when life is going great, but also praise Him when life is the pits and you feel like just giving up.

ID10T aka User Error

Ok, so I pride myself in not being a totally computer illiterate user. In fact, most of the time I act sort of smugly. "I can do this. Here, let me help you." *rolls eyes*

Today, I got my comeuppance.

To start, I needed to listen to a flash presentation that had sound.
I clicked play. Nothing.
I checked the volume. Set at its highest.

I plugged in my headphones. Still nothing.

So, I reluctantly called up IT and explained what I had done and how I couldn't hear anything.

Fast forward a couple of hours . . . .

IT guy shows up. Realizes that the set-up is wrong. Switches out one cable and VOILA! I have sound. That, in and of itself, makes me slightly foolish. I mean, come on. Who couldn't figure that out?

Meanwhile, I go eat some lunch and then come back to my desk. "Ok. I'm ready. Let's do this," I think to myself. I sit down and proceed to plug my headphones back into the jack on the tower. I locate the URL of the training session and away I go . . .

Or so I thought. I press play and I can hear the sound, but not very well. Accordingly, I turn up the volume on my computer. Yet, I am still having a hard time hearing. I turn up the volume some more. At this point, I'm wondering, "What is wrong with my headphones?" and also, I'm thinking, "Crap! I don't have the funds to invest in new headphones right now."

The next thing I know, my ever-so-gracious co-worker comes over and says to me, "Ummm, that's really loud." Oh yes, ladies and gentlemen, the sound was coming out of the speakers from my computer--not my headphones. You know how people always say that noise-reducing earbuds are amazing? I'm hear to testify that they really are. They work so well that I couldn't hear the sound on my computer. A mere 15 inches from my head.

The End.

Painting Pictures of Egypt

This song pretty much is how I feel right now. Actually, not pretty much. Exactly how I feel.

Here's the cool thing. My summer intern gave me a CD of songs that she said I'd find encouraging. Then, nearly a month later, my friend Z sent me these lyrics because she said that she read them and thought of me. Coincidence? I think not. God's up to something.


Painting Pictures of Egypt by Sara Groves
I don't want to leave here
I don't want to stay
It feels like pinching to me either way
The places I long for the most
Are the places where I've been
They are calling after me like a long lost friend
It's not about losing faith
It's not about trust
It's all about comfortable
When you move so much
The place I was wasn't perfect
But I had found a way to live
It wasn't milk or honey
But then neither is this

I've been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacked
The future seems so hard
And I want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I've learned
And those roads closed off to me
While my back was turned

The past is so tangible
I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy to discard
I was dying for some freedom
But now I hesitate to go
Caught between the promise
And the things I know


If it comes too quick I may not recognize it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
If it comes too quick I may not appreciate it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

KILL! KILL! KILL!

I want to hurt, maim, or even kill my boss today.

I am so unbelievably aggravated with her inability to use the "help" function, or even *gasp* TRY to do something first before asking me to do it.

I know, I know. You're sitting there thinking, "ummmmm, she's your boss. you are supposed to do your job."

I am not talking about my job function duties. I am talking about printing off a picture on a color printer.